Tag Archives: sympathy

Misplaced Sympathy

I’ve been wanting to write about this forever but I always end up sounding like a confused bunny. I think my thoughts are still quite muddled up, nevertheless this time they shall take the shape of a blog. I’m one of those people who very strongly believes in judging everyone. No, I don’t accept the diverse shades of humanity. There’s nothing wrong with judgement. As long as you can think, you will judge. The point is that you have to judge people for the right reasons because it’s on this basis that we decide how we feel about them.

I judge people on the basis of the virtues they’ve achieved in their own character (this doesn’t prevent me from passing snide remarks about a host of other things). I’ve always felt that strength, resilience and the ability to bounce back, calls for nothing short of reverence. Surprisingly, whenever someone displays immense inner strength, people have everything to offer but admiration. People are best at  pitying, sympathizing and advising as it gives them a vantage point. When faced with strength their response is inadequate. The talking point shifts from the strengths of the other person to detailed analysis of their abject circumstances. Maybe the, “Oh! I’m so sorry your finances are giving you trouble…” makes them feel better about their own life. No thank you, nobody wants your pity. Keep the sympathy lollipop for yourself. If there’s one thing more hurtful than hate, it’s sympathy.

I have the highest regard for people who’ve managed to overcome obstacles and achieved success(or relentlessly tried to better their circumstances). Watching anyone grapple with tough circumstances becomes an elevating experience. It makes my own trivial problems look ‘trivial’. I’ve never felt sorry for them. In fact there is so much one can learn from such people.

The inspiration of this post are a list of friends who come from disturbed or separated families. I admire their strength to  meet the problem head on, take additional responsibility and remain positive. None of them has ever asked for or expected compassion, pity, understanding or consideration. Therefore they don’t merit sympathy rather they’re worthy of respect. I always meant to tell them that they’re a constant source of encouragement and inspiration.



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