Tag Archives: appreciation

The Complicated and Complex Skill of Complimenting

Compliments play an essential role in human interaction. Not only do they demonstrate our interest in others, but they are also a way to win friends or form allegiances, to gain affection and influence. Compliments are an expression of praise, respect, or approval. A genuine and powerful compliment is one of the best gifts we can give another human being. Think of some of the great compliments you have received in your life…they stick out in your mind and resonate deep within your heart, don’t they? Compliments play an important role in relationships, at the work place and in one’s social life. At the same time it’s a fairly complicated task.  It might sound strange, but giving compliments can be more difficult than it sounds.
The one tip that I can give you to perfect this rather difficult skill is that – Any form of acknowledgment that you give has to be real, honest, and genuine if  you expect it to have any power or impact on the other person. Here are a list of reasons explaining the importance of being absolutely honest with your praise:
  • Place a value on your praise – The power of a compliment to cheer up someone is huge but that will only be possible if you’re not a compulsive sweet talker. Nobody cherishes appreciation from a person who has a reputation of showering everyone with the the same. Be someone whose respect and praise is desired and difficult to obtain. So that when you use this powerful tool it actually works to boost self esteem. Also words like beautiful, intelligent, creative… are precious words don’t give them away so easily. Who you appreciate and for what says more about you than them. You must place a value on your praise.
  • Honesty is a commitment to a value not just the person- Being honest is the right thing to do always. You can never justify giving an undeserved compliment on grounds of it helping your friend. It doesn’t in the long run. It is never okay. There are too many insincere compliments thrown around on a daily basis. Your insincerity will often shine through. Platitudes are more than worthless. Just saying something complimentary to pacify someone is easily detected and most people are put off by something so shallow.
  • Nobody wants ‘charity compliments’- If you go around sprinkling compliments out of pity then you’re the worst kind of person. Step down from the pedestal on which you’ve placed yourself. No, it’s not sweet to appreciate someone because you feel they ‘need’ it. You’re here to uplift the morale of the less deserving mortals?  Narcissistic fool.
  • Most people can make out the difference between artificial and natural sweeteners- Credit the other person with some sense. Most of the people can figure out that the lavish praise is exaggerated and/or undeserved. The flattery usually does nothing but irritate others. It’ll make the other person doubt everything you say. Your opinion will no longer be valuable. One just wonders why someone would be so blatantly dishonest without any purpose.
  • It’s selfish – You do it in the garb of being sweet but the truth is that it’s just convenient. You’re a liar. You talk sweet only to ensure your popularity. You lack the  guts to give genuine feedback. You could’ve helped your friend by telling them how to improve but you chose the easier way. And you did that only for yourself. Not a sweet thing to do, right?
Compliments play an important role in any relationship you have.  Compliments by definition are free, yet they’re priceless. They must be used carefully. Give sincere, genuine and honest compliments to enhance your relationship with friends, family, work colleagues and bosses. 🙂


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